You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
