i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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