the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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