This girl is more easily done than said...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
