How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
