So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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