Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
