kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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