question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
