my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
