I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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