Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
