so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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