Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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