Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
