Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
