That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize