ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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