I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
