So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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