On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
