i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
