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3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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