I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
