it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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