do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
