Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
