That's when you crack a 10am beer
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
