I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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