omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
