another moral hangover. fuck.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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