I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
