I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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