Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
