no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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