Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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