So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
