I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize