Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just sucked dick on a ferry
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
