my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I understand Curling. That high.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
