I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
where are you?
Hypothermia
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My ass is underappreciated
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
