its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this hospital has no fireball
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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