Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
