everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
