Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
