Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the day after is always just damage control
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
