Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize