I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
