He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Acid is not a monday night drug
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
When are your genitals available?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
