after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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