Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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