i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
