Betty ford says i'm here all night
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
