dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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