Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
