I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
FUCK WHALES
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