Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
