Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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