guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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