oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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