Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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