Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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