her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
